Week 12: NFL Picks

I’m getting this up late due to finding NBA Live ’10 on clearance last night at Target.  This is where I would usually say something witty.  Here are some NFL picks.  As always, I pick against the spread because I’m afraid of being too successful at this.  Oh, and Happy Thanksgiving everyone!


Patriots (-6.5) at Lions

Brady is questionable going into this one.  Brady plays.  Lions lose.  Two Thanksgiving traditions are savored in my house.  The Lions will lose and I will eat myself into a food coma.  I love the holidays!  Oh, and due to a dwindling number of usable teams, the Patriots are my suicide pick in the KSK Pool.  We’re down to 69!  Hehe, 69.  It’s a sexual position.

ROTU pick:  New England Patriots


Bengals at Jets (-9)

Cincinnati and New York are two teams headed in opposite direction.  Jordan’s older brother will continue to the team’s weak link and the Jets roll to 9-2.  Can the Jets win by the 9 their getting in Vegas?  I have no reason to think they can’t.  Bigger question, when the Bengals end up with a top 3 pick, does Mike Brown have the balls to draft a QB?

ROTU pick:  New York Jets


Saints (-4) at Cowboys

Jason Garrett has the Cowboys at 2-0 since taking over.  The Saints may be getting Reggie Bush back.  I can see this one being a blow-out but I like the Saints D over the Dallas D.  Can I really take a Jon Kitna led team over a Drew Brees led team?  Nope.

ROTU pick:  New Orleans Saints



Panthers at Browns (-10.5)

Jake Delhomme will be back under center for the Browns after Colt McCoy suffered a high ankle sprain.  I swear, the Browns get high ankle sprains like the residents of Cleveland get foreclosure notices.  That is to say, frequently.  Cannot possible give an offense with no wide receivers and Jake Delhomme a 10.5 point cushion, no matter how bad the Panthers are, and that makes me sad.

ROTU pick:  Carolina Panthers


Steelers (-6.5) at Bills

I would start a collection for Steve Johnson if he has “No means No” written on the t-shirt under his jersey and flashes it after scoring a touchdown.  Who wouldn’t chip in $10 to help pay that fine from the NFL?

ROTU pick:  Pittsburgh Steelers


Buccaneers at Ravens (-7.5)

Baltimore’s offense was supposed to be high octane with Anquan Boldin, TJ Houshmandzadeh, Ray Rice, and co.  They’ve been mid-grade octane at best.  Tampa brings a tough defense game and while I can’t see them winning, they’ll keep it closer than the Vegas sees.

ROTU pick:  Tampa Bay Buccaneers


Vikings at Redskins (-2)

Brad Childress and his “To Catch a Predator” mustache are finally history in Minnesota.  Leslie Frazier takes over and he has a girl’s name.  The morale boost should be enough to carry the Vikings in this one.

ROTU pick:  Minnesota Vikings


Titans at Texans (-6.5)

Vince Young lost his sh*t last week after suffering a thumb injury and being pulled out of the game.  Luckily for him, owner Bud Adams is like a good ol’ boy version of Al Davis and can’t get out of his own way.  As such, even though on the IR, Young will continue to be a distraction for the team and Jeff Fischer will continue to be undermined.

ROTU pick:  Houston Texans


Jaguars at Giants (-7)

Jacksonville has been Jekyll and Hyde this season.  After winning two in a row, it’s time for them to go Hyde again, or whichever of the two is the crappier incarnation.

ROTU pick:  New York Giants


Eagles (-3.5) at Bears

Prison is the new QB Camp.  Vick is the top rated passer in the league this year and is making a mounting case for MVP (or at least Comeback Player of the Year).  Can we trump up some charges on Carson Palmer?  He is criminally handsome!

ROTU pick:  Philadelphia Eagles


Packers at Falcons (-2)

Matt Ryan is something like 17-1 at home (no time for research, there’s cranberry sauce to ignore!).  The Packers have been lights out!  It’s a matchup the size of the Chrysler Building!  If I’m Falcons coach Mike Smith, I’m pulling out all the stops against the Pack since losing to Green Bay is a lethal blow for coaches this year.  Wade Phillips and Brad Childress were both fired after losses to Green Bay.

ROTU pick:  Atlanta Falcons


Dolphins at Raiders (no line)

Miami is on their 12th-ish quarterback and Oakland is playing some really good football.

ROTU pick:  Oakland Raiders


Chiefs (-1.5) at Seahawks

Really?  Only 1.5 against the underratedly (totally a word) sh*tty Seahawks?  I can’t take the Chiefs fast enough.

ROTU pick:  Kansas City Chiefs


Rams at Broncos (-4)

As a Kyle Orton fantasy owner, I’m fully expecting Josh McDaniel’s to start giving Tim Tebow goal line opportunities and robbing me of sweet, sweet Orton touchdown passes.  He’s a bastard like that.

ROTU pick:  Denver Broncos


Chargers at Colts (-4)

A few weeks ago, San Diego completed it’s eleven game preseason and have started their regular season 3-0.  I mean, come on, has no one told Norv Turner the regular season starts in mid-September?  Meanwhile Indy is so banged up, they’re going to support groups and have been issued emergency cell phones by the IMPCL.

Our pick:  San Diego Chargers


49ers (-1) at Cardinals

A one point spread?  No one really has a clue about this game.  Derek Anderson versus Troy Smith.  It’s the NFL on FOX!  Sentimental pick by a Buckeye, Troy Smith.

ROTU pick:  San Francisco 49ers


ROTU record:

Week 11:  8-6-1

Overall:  76-76-7

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